Tweet twittering twatters

So I have recently started twatting…errr…tweeting? twitting? Whatever it is, I finally broke down and tried it. I know that I swore I would never tweet (I think I even tweeted that exact statement) but I ran out of games to play on the iphone while bored and fired up the twitter app and started twattling. I can’t imagine it being something that I do regularly or frequently, but I might post an occasional funny picture that I take from my portable telephonic computer machine with photographic technology. Hell, I only have a tweeter account because someone else registered it in my name to promote the web site and then gave the account to me.

The main thing that I hate about twitter is how people fucking post CONSTANTLY! I have already had to remove a couple of people from my twat list. My GOD you do not really think that people care that much to hang on your every word…do you? I mean, thousands upon thousands of twitters? I just don’t care that much about your twat to have it pollute the rest of the people who twist responsibly! Holy shit, there were 2 people who twastered so often that they were generating 25% of my twatter posts for crying out loud! I mean, I like these people, but only post when you have something funny or interesting to say. Posting every mundane detail of your life, which is apparently so boring that you tweet 20+ times per day, is just pointless. It is the same reason that I don’t read your fucking blogs either! I mean, yeah, I don’t post to my blog often, but shit, at least when i do it has a funny picture, an emotional drama filled rant, or an occasional useful bit of information.

This leads to the second thing that annoys me. Why is there some social obligation to follow everyone who follows you? I see this a lot more on facebook. I have friends who argue about why they didn’t accept someones invite on facebook. I mean, WTF? Maybe I don’t use facebook and didn’t see your invite. Personally, I still do not have a facebook account! If I did, I would not feel obligated to reciprocate following you anyway. I mean, back to the reason that I have a twizzler account…A lot of my friends are from all over the United States (and outside for that matter) and this may be the only way that I can keep in touch with them. If you are a friend in real life, then I will TALK TO YOU ON THE PHONE or MEET YOU IN PERSON and hang out of something to find out what is going on in your life! I mean, if you are only friends with someone on twatservice, then you aren’t really friends. Talk to them on the phone sometimes, meet up in real life, even if it is only once every year or so. All of those celebrities that you follow are NOT YOUR FRIENDS! I only follow Daniel Tosh because he is funny as shit, not because we buttfuck on the weekends.

I will tweetle only when I have something funny to share or if I find something interesting, and I will keep it minimal. A few posts one day, but maybe not for another week or two after that. Be realistic. If you do care, you can see my tweet on the side of this very blog. You can also follow me, if you want, at the obvious “@stankdawg” tweeter-totter name. Do not be surprised that I might not follow you back just like I won’t be butthurt of you stop following me either. I am not everyone cup of tea…Hell, I may not be be anyones cup of tea and I am OK with that.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I have no idea what to call this shit so I call it different words all the time. I am pretty sure that it doesn’t matter since it all sounds the same anyway.

PS: If you think I am talking about YOUR twitter account, I am certainly referring to someone else. I love YOUR twattles! Its that other guy that I can’t listen to any more.

You can have my gun when you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.

I am an “American constitutionalist“. I believe in the constitution from top to bottom and consider it one of the greatest documents ever written. This country was founded under it and grew and prospered under it. Recently, we have been going away from that very foundation that made us great and look at what is happening to our country. We are falling to pieces economically, morally, and structurally. Americans are starting to finally wake up to problems that we have had for the past 30+ years. I am glad that people are starting to see the light. I only hope that it isn’t too late.

To ensure that it isn’t too late, I have recently re–embraced my rights granted to me in the bill of rights (aka the preamble) of my constitution. Particularly, the second amendment. People who know me know that I am a big believer in the first amendment which, as every knows (or should know) is freedom of speech. I find it funny that many people support this 1st amendment, but they are against the second amendment. As the saying goes, the 1st amendment is so important, that the second amendment was made to guarantee it.

I think that a lot of people jump onto political party agenda bandwagons without realizing WHY this amendment exists. You have to have a grasp on the history of our country to get it. We left to form our new country to get away from a government that was repressive. We didn’t want to be told what we could or could not say or think. We did not want to be forced into a certain particular religion or any religion for that matter. This is not the role of the government. These things were so important that they were written as the foundation to our constitution. Originally started as the “Constitution of Virginia” which was written in my home state, it was solid for 200+ years and I would argue, still solid to this day.

Today, in 2010, we have been witnessing a government that has been repressive to say the least. In my opinion, we have been losing our rights slowly but surely over the last 30+ years. The government has been taking over some of the most important institutions on our lives. They run things like our banking system (The Federal Reserve), our Housing industry (Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac), our health care (which looks privatized, but permitted to only a few companies by the government. and who knows what will happen to it now), our transportation systems (Federal Aviation Administration, Department of Transportation), and our communications (the Federal Communications Commission).

Look at those things. Now look at where all of the problems are in the United States right now. Do you see a pattern? The pattern is that WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! I don’t mind some socialization, it is not about that. I just don’t trust this government to do it right. This government is screwing this country up so badly that I cannot even put it into words and we have sat by all of this time and let it happen. The sad thing is that 99.9% of us are still standing by and letting this happen because we are simply oblivious to the way things work. Americans are lazy, unmotivated, and uneducated and because of this apathy, those of us who see the truth are prisoners of our own government.

Not me. Fuck that.

Back to my second amendment rights… The second amendment is not just the right to bear arms. It is not some Warmongering mindset that America has been labeled with. We don’t want guns because we a re a bunch of hellraisers. that is not what that amendment was written for. It wasn’t for wars. It wasn’t for hunting. It wasn’t so that we could kill each other or become barbarians. Quite the opposite. Read these words carefully.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

The key words here are “necessary to the security of a free state”. You see, our forefathers knew that the government that they were escaping form had repressed them leaving no way to rebel and stand up once things had gotten too far. This amendment was written, and made number 2 on the list, because they realized how important it was that they did not allow that to happen again. This right allows us to bear arms not to protect ourselves against outsiders but for something much more important. It allows us to protect ourselves from our own government. All of the other reasons mentioned above are important also, but this was the true reason that it was written.

This is what I have chosen to do. I already had guns as a kid. When you live in the country, and in the South, you grow up around guns. But my guns were for mostly hunting. Now, I have purchased some guns for my own protection. Now before you thinking I am going into full kook mode, let me clarify one thing very clearly. I HOPE THAT I NEVER HAVE TO USE THESE GUNS!!! Sincerely. All of the stuff that I am talking about here is not part of some nut job columbine scheme nor am I going postal. what I am doing is simply exercising my rights as an American citizen before this right, like many others, gets taken away as well.

It is happening people. I don’t understand why so many people are blind to it when it is right in front of your eyes. You have rights and if you don’t use them, you may lose them. Luckily for me, I am using mine and as to paraphrase the true sentiment of what says in the subject of this post…

“You can have my RIGHTS when you pry them from my cold dead hands.”

Im boycotting Christmas this year

Ok, so I am not exactly boycotting it, but I am not getting all heavy into it this year. I am not falling into the commercialization anymore. I never really thought of Christmas as a commercial holiday, but somehow it became one out of entitlement. Someone buys you a gift and you are obligated to buy one back for them and it grows and grows. I don’t think this is at all what this holiday is supposed to be about.

Without going into a religious topic here, since I tend to keep my personal beliefs to myself, but this holiday is to celebrate the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Now, believe that or not, thats fine. Personal decisions and all of that…but I do believe that and I do not understand how that became “buy everyone you know lots of gifts”. The tradition comes from the wise men who brought gifts to the baby Jesus and we keep that tradition up this very day. That is all well and good, but the obligation needs to stop.

I do not see the point in buying my sister a gift card only to have her buy me a gift card of the same value for another store. why bother? The stores are the ones who really benefit from this token gesture in the form of a guaranteed sale. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a Grinch. I love Christmas and what it truly stands for. But let’s be honest, Christmas is a childrens holiday. I have no problem buying gifts for kids and keeping the holidays magical and fun. But for those of us who grew up, it is just all false idolatry to the almighty dollar. Not “idol” in a Godlike way, but in a shift of priorities. I am not doing it anymore.

Similar to the way that I don’t want gifts to celebrate my birthday (and arbitrary day if there ever was one) I don’t want gifts out of obligation. If you want to buy me a gift, do it because you think of me or care about me and thought it would be a nice thing that has no relevance to a date. I buy gifts for people all the time. Why should I wait to give them at Christmas or some particular day? I will give them when I think of that person and buy the gift for them. Personally, if someone gave me a small gift or a card on some strange Wednesday for no reason at all other than that they simply cared about me, that would mean far more to me than if someone bought me a brand new car on Christmas. I can buy a new car myself. You cannot buy caring and love.

So that being said, I only bought a few small practical gifts for my new baby niece. I made arrangements with my family to not do the gift exchange mockery this this. I do have a few small things for people, but not out of obligation, but because I care. They are small, cheap things that I picked up on my travels and I don’t count that is going out of my way to get gifts.

No matter what your feeling are on gift-giving, please let me wish you all a happy holiday. I still love the holiday and the intent behind it, so don’t misinterpret that. I will be out of town for the rest of the year visiting my family. Hopefully, I make it back alive. I am going to start 2010 strong and refocused and hopefully it treats me a whole lot better than 2009 did.

There are some annoying people on this board…

I have known a lot of people in my life that just talk to hear their own voice. I am sure that you all know people like this as well. I am usually pretty patient around them in real life, but for some reason it bugs me when they do the same thing online. Most people call it “post whoring” insinuating that they are just trying to increase their post count, but I don’t think this is the case. Post whoring serves no purpose in general since post counts aren’t very important in most places, especially here. Having a higher post count is worthless because it doesn’t get you anything extra other than attention from the mods and the regulars and if your posts are not quality posts, the attention that you get is probably not what you intended.

I think that people just want to be heard so badly that they feel to need to reply to everything that they see with “I agree” or “hah” or the like. Listen, this is not myspace. This is not your personal blog…ok, this actually is MY personal blog, but it is not yours so STFU! Look, if you are reading this, think about whether the description applies to you. If you think that I am talking to you, then I probably am and I probably think that you are a total fucktard. Stop posting and GTFO the internet.

“So Long and thanks for all the fish!”

First of all, I don’t owe anyone an explanation individually. But since there are a few people out there who wonder why I am pulling out of the public scene, I thought I would try to explain my reasons in the hopes that maybe a few people would understand. I do not have a problem sharing these reasons, but if you intend to attack me for them, you should stop reading now. I don’t want to hear it.

Basically, I unplugged for 2 general reasons. Firstly, I pulled out for personal reasons. Secondly, I pulled out because hacking wasn’t fun anymore. For those of you who are genuinely interested, I will gladly explain.

As far as personal things go, you have to understand that the word personal infers that I am, in fact, a “person”. Somehow people think that hackers are all a bunch of punk kids who have no real life problems and run around without a care in the world. Hackers are people. I am a hacker, but I still love my country. I still love my family. I believe in God. I am not ashamed to admit any of these things, but somehow people lose sight of the fact that we are all real people with real lives. We have real hopes and real dreams. We face real triumphs and real tragedies. We find real love and face real heartbreak. Life changing events happen and hacking takes a backseat to real life. If you have ever heard my radio show, you would know that I have said this many times. I guess now you all know that I meant it. Never let the important things in your life take a backseat to anything.

In my real life, I have had some pretty big events happen lately. I have kept them private while continuing to work on numerous projects to help keep my mind off of things. My 82 year old grandmother recently moved down here to South Florida. She is the only grandparent that I have left and I love her dearly. I have been spending as much time as I could with her lately. For the most part, she is healthy for an 82 year old woman, and she is blessed to be well enough to enjoy life and live independently. Spending quality time with her is my number one priority above all else on this planet. I have been able to balance my time with her and all of the other things in my life fairly well until last month. I had another life changing event that altered my path. I was offered a job that requires me to move out of South Florida and I accepted it. It is a great opportunity for me doing something I love (programming) and using my education and my 15+ years of experience in the computer industry. It was an offer that I could not refuse. This is a very good thing and I am very happy with these changes in my life and my grandmother is happy for me as well.

The reality that I am left with, however, is that I will be physically packing my entire life and moving within a month or so. In that time period, I must sell my house and buy a new house. This means packing up everything I own and repairing my old house to sell it, which is what I have been doing since the beginning of July. As if that weren’t enough, I am determined to start this new job on the right foot and really attack it with every fiber of my being. Some of you out there know how hard I work and how I give 337% on everything I do, whether it is writing “show novels” for BRR, researching material for an article, or editing HackTV. I take pride in everything I do. I was always taught that anything worth doing, is worth doing right. I want to do my very best at this new job and after my grandmother, I intend to focus the rest of my concentration on this new job.

All of these events just made me step back and realize that the balance had shifted temporarily. I could no longer juggle hacking and life. I needed to borrow from my “hacking time” to pay my “real life time” to help counter-balance the needs that I now faced. I started making plans to slowly pull out a few months ago as these changes became imminent. I made sure that the radio show would be taken care of months ago (around episode 80 to put it in perspective) and I started asking the guys in DDP to pick up some of the slack for me and carry me for a while. These guys are all so great, that not one…not a single one of them…hesitated to rescue me. I probably don’t tell them enough how much I appreciate them. They are not only friends, but they are like brothers to me. I was willing to completely leave the hacking scene to concentrate on real life, but they made it possible for me to stick around…and want to stick around. This leads me to the other reason I unplugged…

The other reason is that no matter how hard I tried to keep it fun, hacking ceased being fun to me. Certainly, the real life things probably weighed into that, but it was more than that. Hacking was slowly losing its fun day by day over the past year or so anyway. There are a lot of great people in this community. There is no doubt of that. I have met several of them at different conferences. I have gotten heartwarming email from them that helped my regain some of my love of hacking. I have seen and heard a lot of great comments from people and I appreciate them all. I sincerely do. But I also got a lot of negative mail and read lots of negative comments from people as well. And they seemed to far outway the positive comments. I see the blog posts of people attacking me and insulting me. I hear the comments people make on conferences. I see the insulting messages people post in forums ( even in my *OWN DAMN FORUMS*) or put in their videos. What did I do to deserve this? I thought we were all on the same team?

Now it is easy for people to say “just ignore people like that”. And actually, I am very, VERY good at ignoring people like that. I simply do not have time in my life for negative people in general. I do my very best to help out anyone who asks. But slowly, over time, they start to weigh on you. There are people out there who need help. They don’t understand what hacking is. They just don’t get it. But that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be helped. They may just need guidance. I have met people who were complete jerks when I first met them. They didn’t know that they were being jerks because no one ever told them that they were doing the wrong things. I like to teach people the right things. But sometimes, you can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. Maybe I come across too strong. I guess that is my weakness, that I speak my mind. May that makes me arrogant, I don’t know. Anyone who really knows me, knows that they can ask me for anything and they know I will do as much as humanly possibly to help them out. All I can do is the best that I can. Some days, that just isn’t enough for some people.

Then there are other little things that make me feel bad. I get messages from people who are angry with me that I didn’t answer their email. They don’t understand that I get literally dozens of emails every day and I simply cannot answer them all. I wish I could, but I simply can’t. Logistically, I started to feel that I was stretching myself to thin. When you are the type of person who wants to help EVERYBODY and you don’t have time to GET TO everybody, it gets frustrating. And I do not have any “real life time” to borrow from anymore to do that. This is slightly frustrating, but since there is simply nothing that I can do about it (I can’t alter the flow of time…yet), I have to suck it up and move on with life the best that I can.

The proverbial straw that broke the camels back, was really nothing big or overly frustrating so much as simply bad timing. I was trying my very best to do everything that I could to keep contributing to this community to the best of my ability and to keep putting out content and balance all of the things that I have been talking about and suddenly, I hit the wall. I had enough. Had I seen another random person making a bad comment, I probably could have ignored it. Had I seen yet another blog of someone talking about how much one of my projects or articles sucked, I would have brushed it off. If I had seen another ignorant “journalist” using me to sell his fear-laden articles, I would have laughed it off. Instead, what I saw was someone who I thought was a friend publicly humiliate me at the precise moment when I needed support. When I was at the end of my rope, no one was there to give me a boost. Instead, they kicked me right off.

Now, it is irrelevant to single anyone out, particularly because they probably didn’t mean it to come across the way that it did. I understand that, and I don’t blame them. But what it did was open my eyes. I realized the hard truth that while there are some great people out there, there are others that simply don’t care about you one way or the other. It does not matter how much you give to them, they are never satisfied. They cannot enjoy anything without criticizing it. I don’t know what personality trait this is, or if it is more or less prevalent in the hacker community, but I don’t like it. I suddenly opened my eyes to the fact that every single thing I do is scrutinized. Here I thought that I was educating people with a radio show and having fun. I was being made fun of. I thought that I was entertaining people with a hacking television show. I was being insulted. I thought that I was providing useful services and projects that people inside (and outside) of the community could enjoy. They were simply being attacked. The thing that I didn’t understand, and the thing that bothered me most, was that while all of these people were bitching and complaining about me, not a single person stood up and defended me. Not a SINGLE ONE. No posts of support. No posts defending false allegations. Nothing but silent acceptance.

This is not what the hacking spirit is all about and I don’t want to be a part of it right now. It is a terrible feeling to suddenly realize that nobody cares enough to have your back.

I will never understand why some people seem to think that constantly complaining and being negative about everything can ever generate anything positive. All that you do is chase people away. New people need advice and information. Don’t insult them, help them! Returning people are looking for another chance. Reach out to them, do not reinforce the negative image that caused them to leave in the first place. And the people that have managed to stay around for any length of time…just support them. You don’t have to agree with them. You don’t have to like them. But you will respect them. I do not need my ego stroked, nor do I need to hear a “thank you”. I just don’t think that I deserve the personal attacks, scrutiny and lack of common courtesy that I have been given.

So I do thank the people who have emailed me in recent weeks. I do appreciate that some people cared enough about my well being to email me and say a simple “thanks” or to offer their help and sympathy for my well being. I am honestly touched. You leave me with a great joy to know that there are some people in this community who are genuine and good-hearted people. My fellow hackers…my fellow human beings. If I do come back, after some hiatus, it is because of people like you. I cannot list everyone, but you know who you are. I do have to single out my fellow DDP members (past, present, and future) for all of their support. I am proud of what they have accomplished..what we have accomplished. Thanks for keeping hacking fun. Thanks to Acidus, Decius, Elonka, rockit, droops, GIJoe, Dr^Zigman, LogosX, PixelFiend, xlogicx, austin, and Zearle. All of whom were always positive and supportive people to whom I give much deserved respect. And even with all of this, I still have not forgotten about decoder who is going through some pretty rough real life stuff as well. I am still thinking of you my friend. Trust me when I say that *I* have got *your* back.

I am still around, just no longer in the public eye. I have to stick with those people who I trust to be good people and stay away from the critics and the community that simply doesn’t want me. I don’t have time to be hated. I will continue to write. I will continue to keep making sites and starting projects and programming. The sites/forum/shows/projects/etc… will stick around as long as I can afford them. The DDP will still exist and grow. I will never stop hacking because I love it. If anything, I am able to dedicate more time to it because of this. I have a lot of great friends in this community. They are friends that hopefully will last my entire lifetime. I will never stop hacking. It is a part of me. It is what makes up who I am.

I am StankDawg.

I am a hacker.